Wednesday, April 15, 2020

COVID-19: April 15, 2020

Rough day: Woke up at dawn to Todd Rundgren's "Hello It's Me" and collapsed back on my bed in tears - childhood song, guess it hit a nerve... maybe its theme of separation, loss and longing, maybe I'm starting to react to being a single person in social isolation. Got up, drank coffee to focus, and worked with some of my students on their projects. Could sense their insecurity about current events combined with their anxieties about completing their classes when it shouldn't be their primary concern now and tried to help out as best as I can. Around noon my body was aching from being on a computer (I have a 120 students and all work is online now - such a luxury to roam around a classroom and interact spontaneously letting the learning environment develop organically). Took advantage of the sun and did a 4 mile route in the cemetery near my house. Came back and talked to a couple friends whose situations are very dire. Tried again to help. Afterward, I worked on my patio hanging with my two cats while watching the birds I feed in my backyard. At some point I started worrying if I might not see some of my family members again (they are all out West) - caused a mild state of panic. Started feeling weak and realized all I had eaten was an orange all day. Made some salmon and roasted brussel sprouts, felt grateful that I understand the importance of healthy eating (and have the resources to do so) and felt restored through the process of making a meal. Watched Governor Andy Beshear's daily update and was feeling good about our efforts, then was dismayed as I heard the reactionary protests. Sipped a Blue Stallion Maibock and mused on the problems with communicating to people when there are these huge buffers of distortion/misinformation in the way. Starting to wonder again how long this will last and what our world will look like on the other side. Heading out to hit that 4 mile route again - there is sun and I'm feeling anxious. I have Pink Floyd's tribute to Syd in mind - because I wish you were here with me:

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